Tag Archives: family

The Difficulties of Returning

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When I first landed in the U.S. after my semester abroad, I remember a distinct creeping sense of disgust. Granted, a 5:00am layover with no phone and a poor night’s sleep is not anyone’s sense of a triumphant homecoming. Still, something else was wrong; I felt uneasy, somehow guilty.

It took a few minutes to realize that it was the English, overheard from every angle, which was bothering me. In Buenos Aires, hearing an onslaught of English normally meant one of two things: one, that I wasn’t doing right by the language commitment encouraged by my program, or two, that I had landed in some touristy locale where I was likely to pay triple what I should for a drink or some food. Either way, in Buenos Aires, hearing a lot of English meant that I had to switch up what I was doing. But there was no escape in the airport, and I wasn’t quite ready for my semester of Spanish to be over.

It is in this way—unforeseen, often subconscious, difficult to control—that re-entry or “reverse” culture shock can creep into your heart and mind. It is distinct in every case, but most generally it will take the form of difficult-to-express frustration, restlessness, uncertainty, nostalgia for the foreign country, or a strange dissatisfaction with the home you had left behind. Moreover, you can often be unprepared for re-entry shock, whereas the initial culture shock is highly anticipated. So how to fight it off?

First and foremost, be aware of its possibility. It may not happen instantly—in many cases, the thrill of seeing old friends and old locales will dull the shock—and it may develop unexpectedly. A few deep breaths and an understanding of what’s happening can do wonders to calm the uncomfortable feelings.

Second, try to bring more back with you than photos and souvenirs: bring back a routine. Did you sip mate in the mornings, herbal tea at night? Did you listen to certain music or get into a TV show? Did you cook certain foods, rely on certain habits? I’ve found that sticking to a few select routines you developed abroad, and sharing them with your family and friends from home, can bridge the gap.

Third, don’t forget to keep in touch with the close friends you made abroad. Don’t let these relationships fall to the wayside; nothing will make you feel better than a self-confirming conversation with a friend. It will make study abroad feel less like a dream.

Last—and this is important—keep a sense of humor. Things may frustrate you; let them make you laugh. You may reminisce, but do so happily, with a sense of accomplishment. After all, you survived study abroad, and pride is well-deserved.

By Matt Getz, Peer Advisor, [email protected]

Giving and Receiving

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In the U.S. I was taught at a young age that “Sharing is caring” and that “It could be fun”, by my favorite PBS show. However, our concept of sharing and the things that are acceptable to share are different than those in Senegal. For example, in my dorm room refrigerator, for example, items that I bought or placed in the fridge are for myself only. This is typically understood without even discussing it with other floor or suitemates. I have the option of sharing but it’s not a pressing obligation. I found that this privatization of items like food is completely foreign to Senegalese culture. Food on the table or food in the refrigerator is basically for all who enter that house. Instead of focusing on the separation between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ there is a keener focus on ‘our’. For both of my homestays, my family made it clear that anytime I wanted to eat or wanted something to drink all I had to do was get it, or ask someone in the family for it. They did not want me to worry about who purchased it or who it was meant for. It didn’t matter. And if there wasn’t anything of substance in the house, or neighbor’s’ refrigerator became ours as well! This went both ways, however. I could not enter the house with some chocolaty treats, or jewelry purchases from the market without giving something to my sisters or mother. Just as giving is important, so too is receiving. The culture of reciprocity is strong in Senegal and it reinforces a strong sense of community. I found this to be true in both the big city (Dakar) and the small town/village (Fatick).

What I Wish I Had Known

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What I wish I had known before going to Senegal:

  • Bring photographs of your life back home because friends and family you meet will like seeing it to gain a better understanding of who you are. I was constantly asked about my family and Alabama and I had very little to show!
  • Bring or send a meaningful gift (which does not have to be expensive) to your host family, if staying with a host family. I brought t-shirts for the family from my hometown, but other students brought framed photographs of their hometown and some brought artwork that they particularly liked.
  • It will not be difficult to make friends with people from the country that you are visiting. Even if you may have trouble with the language of your host country, a lot of young people (no matter the country) learn some English in secondary school or college and like practicing it (often while talking about American trends and politics) with their new American friend (I was nervous about this before going!)
  • For the women: expect to be hit on from men, young and old, especially because you are American. It can get annoying, but it can also be a fun way to make friends and discover the city.
  • Bring money to travel: while it will probably be far less expensive than taking a trip in the United States you should be prepared to pay for a hotel, transportation, and food for about a week (most programs give you at least a week off for either spring or winter break). It can add up. (But don’t let it deter you. Traveling in your host country can provide some of your richest experiences abroad.)
  • If staying with a host family, make sure to spend time with them. It can get difficult as you make more friends, take classes, go out- but maintaining a good connection with your host families can prevent bumps along the way. If your family has a tradition of watching ridiculously melodramatic Indian soap operas Wednesday nights (as mine did) join in, make it a habit too.

by Zawadi Baharanyi