Category Archives: General

The Difficulties of Returning

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When I first landed in the U.S. after my semester abroad, I remember a distinct creeping sense of disgust. Granted, a 5:00am layover with no phone and a poor night’s sleep is not anyone’s sense of a triumphant homecoming. Still, something else was wrong; I felt uneasy, somehow guilty.

It took a few minutes to realize that it was the English, overheard from every angle, which was bothering me. In Buenos Aires, hearing an onslaught of English normally meant one of two things: one, that I wasn’t doing right by the language commitment encouraged by my program, or two, that I had landed in some touristy locale where I was likely to pay triple what I should for a drink or some food. Either way, in Buenos Aires, hearing a lot of English meant that I had to switch up what I was doing. But there was no escape in the airport, and I wasn’t quite ready for my semester of Spanish to be over.

It is in this way—unforeseen, often subconscious, difficult to control—that re-entry or “reverse” culture shock can creep into your heart and mind. It is distinct in every case, but most generally it will take the form of difficult-to-express frustration, restlessness, uncertainty, nostalgia for the foreign country, or a strange dissatisfaction with the home you had left behind. Moreover, you can often be unprepared for re-entry shock, whereas the initial culture shock is highly anticipated. So how to fight it off?

First and foremost, be aware of its possibility. It may not happen instantly—in many cases, the thrill of seeing old friends and old locales will dull the shock—and it may develop unexpectedly. A few deep breaths and an understanding of what’s happening can do wonders to calm the uncomfortable feelings.

Second, try to bring more back with you than photos and souvenirs: bring back a routine. Did you sip mate in the mornings, herbal tea at night? Did you listen to certain music or get into a TV show? Did you cook certain foods, rely on certain habits? I’ve found that sticking to a few select routines you developed abroad, and sharing them with your family and friends from home, can bridge the gap.

Third, don’t forget to keep in touch with the close friends you made abroad. Don’t let these relationships fall to the wayside; nothing will make you feel better than a self-confirming conversation with a friend. It will make study abroad feel less like a dream.

Last—and this is important—keep a sense of humor. Things may frustrate you; let them make you laugh. You may reminisce, but do so happily, with a sense of accomplishment. After all, you survived study abroad, and pride is well-deserved.

By Matt Getz, Peer Advisor, [email protected]

Home Away From Home

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Some students might hesitate to choose a program where you have to do a home stay. As someone who has been living on her own for the past 7 years, I was also extremely worried. I shouldn’t have been. It is the best way to immerse yourself in a culture and to get to know the people. I had a loving family who took me in like I was their own child and who made me feel at all times like I was at home. Of course, there is a chance that you are not matched up with the best family for you and that the experience can be awkward. Here are a couple of tips to make the best out of your experience.

  • Describe yourself and your preferences as best as possible on the application.  Are you shy or outgoing? Do you love kids? Do you love to eat or cook? Do prefer music, films or art? Tell them as much about you as you can, and how you think you interact with people in different social settings.
  • If you have severe issues the first few days, speak up! You don’t want your home stay to be a concern all semester. It should be the closest thing to your ‘sanctuary’ there.
  • Observe and adapt. How do they greet each other?  If you see them taking of their shoes at a particular time, follow their footsteps.
  • The first few days are important in your new home stay. Instead of heading out with other students immediately or locking yourself up in the room with work, bond with your family. Take time to get to know them. The first day I saw them all go to the t.v room to watch a soap opera they would watch every night. Though I didn’t understand anything, from that first day I went on my own incentive to the room to be part of that family time (and at the end I could understand much more so it also helps your language skills!) It doesn’t have to be tv. Go help or watch in the kitchen. Hang out of the window with you sister or brother and talk about what you are seeing in the street.  Who are the neighbours? What to they do? Propose to take a walk together. Also share about your life, pictures of your family and town. They can learn a lot from having you there.
  • Think to yourself: this is my home. It’s ok, it’s not intrusive or inappropriate. The more you feel that way, the more at ease you will put your family. Of course try to be discreet when you have to, if something is specifically a family issue. But don’t retreat yourself and remove yourself from moments. Some of my most unforgettable ones I shared with my family in the living room.
  • Even if a language barrier makes it harder: Engage in conversation. Tell them about your day and ask them about theirs. Share observations that you are making, experiences you had on the street. Ask about the neighborhood, the country.  They can provide you with a different historical insight than your class might. Often times your family can also give you the best advice, i.e what roads to take, where is the best place to get cheap good food, better supermarkets or bodega’s. Find out the interests and goals of your sister or brothers.
  • When you do feel like you need time or space, it’s also ok to let them know. I told my family a week in advance that the following week I would have papers due and that I’d be studying more and keeping to myself. I’d text them to tell them that I’d go for a walk after school. Don’t just disappear.
  • Remember that you have as much a responsibility to make yourself and them feel comfortable, as they do!

Enjoy your new family and make the best of it!

LGBTQ Study Abroad Resources

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Helpful Resources

  • Behind the Mask –a web magazine devoted to Lesbian and Gay affairs in Africa
    http://www.mask.org.za/
  • Gay and Lesbian Arabic Society –organization for Gays and Lesbians of Arab descent or those living in Arab countries
    http://www.glas.org/
  • South Asian Lesbian & Gay Association of New York City
    http://salganyc.org/
  • Boliviagay.com – LGBT blog addressing national and international interests, news, and events
    http://www.boliviagay.com/web/
  • Si Soy Gay- Latin American  GLBT News, Information, Commentary & Observations
    http://sisoyglbt.blog.com/
  • Gay____4u.com*- a comprehensive guide to LGBTQ resources in various cities around the world http://www.gaybarcelona4u.com/ *Can replace “Barcelona” with Berlin, Buenos Aires, Cape Town, Madrid, Mykonos, Rio, Rome, Sydney

LGBTQ Guide to Study Abroad

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OGP’s Peer Advisor LGBTQ Guide to Studying Abroad

Studying Abroad can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. It is a chance to explore the world, learn about a new culture, push your own boundaries and grow as a person. There is no doubt that this type of experience will challenge you in many ways. This handout is designed for those students who identify as LGBTQ and wish to study abroad. What does being LGBTQ in another country mean? What are the cultural norms of a particular society?  Is this country right for me? Below are a few recommendations to help you make an informed decision and facilitate the transition to a new environment.

Before Heading Off…

There are a few things that you may want to research before departing for your study abroad experience.

Cultural Differences with respect to LGBTQ issues

Just as seen here in the United States, attitudes and understanding of LGBTQ individuals and issues vary region by region. Cultural sensitivity is important to keep in mind while living and traveling abroad. In some places you may not be able to express yourself as you do at home so you must be conscious of the social reality that exists in the region you are interested in while choosing your program. The best way to learn is by researching in advance. Look for blogs, newspaper articles, or books that talk about the LGBTQ attitudes abroad or see if anyone you know may be familiar with this topic. The more you know beforehand will affect how easy the transition will be upon arriving.

Legal Rights of LGBTQ individuals

Another important item to research is the legal environment surrounding LGBTQ issues. In some countries LGBTQ individuals are protected and have just as many rights as other members of society. Unfortunately there are other places where identifying as LGBTQ openly is punishable by law or there may be no laws to protect an individual from hate crimes. Therefore it is extremely important to know the legal regulations and conditions of a country so that you can try to avoid any problem or uncomfortable situation.

Resources that your specific program offers

With awareness across the world of LGBTQ issues on the rise, many study abroad programs have started to develop resources for LGBTQ individuals specific to their own region or program. Many times the program headquarters will have information and resources available on their websites for LGBTQ individuals, but if you would like to learn more specifically about a program, emailing the program office may uncover more useful information. You may also wish to contact a previous student from the program to see if they can tell you anything about the country in terms of LGBTQ issues.

Research the Area for other Resources

Not all programs may be as helpful or have the necessary resources that you may desire. A bit of searching on the internet however can often reveal many helpful organizations and NGOs that can provide a rich insight into the conditions abroad. Start with a basic search through blogs and social networking sites and go from there. These outside resources should be tapped into because they often reveal more personal accounts and expose the reality that exists abroad.

While Abroad…

Homestays/Housing

Your living arrangement while abroad will differ by program. No matter where you are staying, you should feel safe and comfortable at all times. It is up to you to decide whether to openly express

yourself, but be sure to think of all of the consequences that this action could have before acting. If staying with a homestay family, ask yourself if you feel the family would be accepting or what kind of change in the family dynamic would occur if you chose to come out. It is important to be sensitive to the various cultural practices across the world, and this may mean not being able to be as open about your sexuality as you are at home. You may wish to talk to the housing director of your program to see if they can put you with a family they know would be accepting, or if any problems arise during your time with a family, speak up and don’t be afraid to ask for a change in living arrangements. You should feel at home wherever you stay at while abroad and the study abroad program should try to make you as comfortable as possible.

Relationships

It is important to be self conscious of the way you interact with people while abroad. Whether it is with friends or people you may be interested in dating; body language, verbal cues and the manner you compose yourself may be interpreted differently abroad than it is at home. Something can elicit a completely different response than you expect, so be aware of this and try to learn the particular customs of your region. The way in which LGBTQ individuals interact may be different also depending on the part of the world and this can affect how open they can be. Take this into consideration if you meet someone and pursue a relationship. Also be sure to always practice safe sex and be aware of any sexual health resources that may be available to you.

Support Networks and Safety

Having a support network while abroad is extremely helpful. Whether it is because you miss your home, are suffering through culture shock, or are having issues being LGBTQ in the country, a support network will help you cope with your issues and can guide you in times of need. Try to make some friends that you can talk with on the program or even open up to a member of the program faculty. Meeting people in the country also can be helpful when you feel lost or confused, so try to get out and immerse yourself in the culture. Having support includes having safe places that you can identify across the region. Whether it is police stations, the program headquarters, or an organizations office, know at all times where they are located because safety is extremely important and you should have a plan of action if the need were to arise.

How to handle reverse culture shock

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In many cases reverse culture shock can be harder than culture shock. Here are some ideas from Columbia students on how to ease your transition back into New York:

Student who went to Bolivia: Talk to friends who went abroad. Even if it was on the other side of the world, they’re still facing the same issues as you are. I found that there are also a lot of Bolivian restaurants, organizations, and neighborhoods in New York so look them up and go visit: it’s the best way to bring Bolivia back with you. This will ease you back into New York, which is a huge culture shock coming from Bolivia.