Discussing sex with your teenage daughter might be one of the most awkward conversations you will ever have. However, it is necessary to prepare her for the realities of life as a young woman.
Whether you talk to her about it or not, sex will become part of her life. It is better to put your embarrassment aside so your daughter is prepared for what happens when she engages in sexual relationships. Here is what you need to know about sex ed for your daughter.
Reality check
Most girls will experience a form of sexual harassment in their lifetime, according to sexual harassment attorneys in the USAttorneys database. If they do not understand what it is, they will accept this behavior without question. We live in a society where the vestiges of a patriarchal rule remain present, and girls are subconsciously taught men can still misbehave toward women with virtual impunity.
Before even talking about sexual intercourse, tell your daughter about sexual harassment. Go through the legal definition with her and cite examples of behavior that constitute sexual harassment. These include, but are not limited to, inappropriate sexual comments, suggestive remarks or behavior, unwanted touching, and offers of quid pro quo acts for sexual favors. Once your daughter understands what sexual harassment is, she is likelier to report it and refuse to tolerate such treatment.
Her body
Another component of sexual education you need to clarify with your daughter is her bodily autonomy. No one can force her to do anything with her body that she does not want to. Therefore, if she decides to engage in sexual activity and changes her mind, it is her right to do that. Under no circumstances should she tolerate someone trying to engage in sexual contact that she does not want.
Tell her that no means no, and she does not need to justify her decisions to anyone. If she decides she does not want to have sex, she should not let anyone manipulate or threaten her into changing her mind.
Understanding sex
While your daughter might already have heard a lot about sex from her friends, use this opportunity to clarify concepts for her. Let her explain what she knows and fill in the gaps. Dispel any myths and incorrect notions about the sex act to ensure she is aware of what it entails.
Girls who engage in sex for the first time in full possession of the facts are likelier to make responsible choices about what they do. This includes being discerning about who they have sex with and not feeling pressured to offer it to a partner.
Precautions
Girls must take responsibility for ensuring that they do not fall pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD). While many would argue that both partners have an equal obligation in this matter, the ugly truth is that few boys think that far ahead and will not take the necessary precautions.
Your daughter should understand the ramifications of falling pregnant, including that she might have to sacrifice her dreams and ambitions to care for a baby. Her partner can walk away while she is left with the responsibility.
Emotions
Typically, sex is a physical experience for men but an emotional one for women. Your daughter should understand that sex is an expression of a passionate commitment to their partner and not something they should do indiscriminately.
They should carefully consider whether to engage in sexual relations with a partner and not make decisions in the heat of the moment. When cooler heads prevail, they will make more responsible choices. The onus is on you to ensure that your daughter understands this.