Oh, to be a misfit in a Young Adult novel! Didn’t all of us have that dream when we were teenagers to be the sword-wield, fast-talking, gorgeous misfit protagonist of a Young Adult (YA) novel who, with a bit of luck and a lot of fate, ended up being the ‘chosen one?’ But it wasn’t just the heroic feats they performed or the passionate love affairs or the badass quips that made us obsessed with them. It was the transformation; the magnificent growth of the ugly duckling into the beautiful powerful swan who, for the first time in their life, felt right in their skin. It’s that feeling that we fell in love with, and what keeps us coming back for more.

But what is this feeling? It’s the feeling of having overcome our faults to become a better version of ourselves. We love a good success story. And today, we have a phrase for it: the glow up.

Nowadays we see it pasted around on social media a lot: how to glow up? And it’s a valid question. Chasing self-actualization or self-improvement is a worthy effort, and it should never be seen as a pipe dream. But oftentimes, that’s exactly what it can seem like thanks to Hollywood’s downright dishonest portrayal of the glow-up. Putting Rachel Leigh Cook in baggy clothes and glasses does not make her ugly; just like how dressing her in a tight red mini dress does not make her confident. The ‘She’s All That’ transformation does not equal a glow up. It’s not that easy.

Another problem with Hollywood’s portrayal of the glow up is that often seems to hinge on physical beauty. But this can be extremely problematic, not only because it is a very narrow view of self-improvement but also because it teaches you to equate your worth to the perceived ‘beauty’ of your physical features.

But this is where YA novels have an edge over Hollywood. The ‘transformations’ within YA novels often encompass the protagonists’ reconnecting with themselves and their true friends, identifying their values and their gifts, improving their skills, and achieving acceptance of themselves, flaws and all. Isn’t this truly what we crave?

Becoming the YA Protagonist you Deserve to Be

The common thread in all YA protagonists is their belief in themselves. This belief isn’t constant or unfaltering; YA protagonists doubt themselves and their abilities a lot of the time. But they find a way to carry on believing in themselves, even when the odds are all against them.

This belief in yourself is what you need to cultivate to ‘transform’ yourself into your better version. You don’t need to have unwavering faith in yourself, nor should your faith be blind. It’s good to be self-aware and know that you will make mistakes, have made mistakes, and that there are many areas in which you could improve. You could be kinder, work harder, be more understanding, and the list goes on. But never doubt your ability to achieve that.

If you want to be fit, doubting your ability to keep up a regular exercise regimen won’t help you start. Instead, it usually contributes to your inability to stick to your routine. The minute self-doubt creeps in, you start to lose the battle. When this happens (as I’m sure it will, especially when you are just beginning your journey), do what any good YA protagonist worth their salt does, and seek your mentor!

The Mentor, that age-old friend of the protagonist, who always arrives in the nick of time and saves the protagonist from an otherwise inevitable failure. Your mentor is whoever you trust in your life who is in your corner; that person who pushes you to be better than who you think you can be. This could be a close friend, a parent, a sibling, or a trusted teacher. Hell, it may even be one of your gamer friends with whom you’ve only interacted exclusively online.

Speak to your mentor to get a hit of that much-needed motivation when you’re feeling down, and get back to that battlefield the next day and kick ass. Of course you have it in you, you’re the protagonist of a YA novel!

Finally, remember that self-actualization isn’t exactly being amazing at everything. It’s feeling wholly comfortable and happy in your own skin, being who you are. Therefore, self-actualization doesn’t have to mean that you need to constantly be looking at where you’re lacking and trying to improve yourself. While self-improvement can be a very important road to take to achieve self-actualization, the highway is self-discovery.

And if the highway isn’t as smooth as you’d like it to be, remember that no YA protagonist ever slew their dragons or got the love of their lives without help from the wider cast. So when the going gets tough, seek out your friends or your family and ask them for help. Most people love to give it.