In the U.S. I was taught at a young age that “Sharing is caring” and that “It could be fun”, by my favorite PBS show. However, our concept of sharing and the things that are acceptable to share are different than those in Senegal. For example, in my dorm room refrigerator, for example, items that I bought or placed in the fridge are for myself only. This is typically understood without even discussing it with other floor or suitemates. I have the option of sharing but it’s not a pressing obligation. I found that this privatization of items like food is completely foreign to Senegalese culture. Food on the table or food in the refrigerator is basically for all who enter that house. Instead of focusing on the separation between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ there is a keener focus on ‘our’. For both of my homestays, my family made it clear that anytime I wanted to eat or wanted something to drink all I had to do was get it, or ask someone in the family for it. They did not want me to worry about who purchased it or who it was meant for. It didn’t matter. And if there wasn’t anything of substance in the house, or neighbor’s’ refrigerator became ours as well! This went both ways, however. I could not enter the house with some chocolaty treats, or jewelry purchases from the market without giving something to my sisters or mother. Just as giving is important, so too is receiving. The culture of reciprocity is strong in Senegal and it reinforces a strong sense of community. I found this to be true in both the big city (Dakar) and the small town/village (Fatick).
American woman
During our orientation, our on-site program director warned all the girls in the program to be careful about the intentions of Senegalese men. We all quickly learned why. When you are walking down the street you may very well get a marriage proposal thrown at you, or an affirmation of love. For some Senegalese men, meeting an American woman can be a sort of jackpot. American women are often assumed to be wealthy, fun loving, more “liberal” sexually (sometimes), and great entry ways into the United States. For others (the majority I’d say) an American woman is simply something different and, in many ways, exotic- someone new to talk to and learn about! When some Senegalese men spot a foreigner they turn on the charm. Because I am African American and look more like Senegalese women, I experienced this on a smaller, yet still notable, scale. My white female friends in the program were frequently courted and/or proposed to. When it was discerned that I was foreign, and American, I would also experience the “Senegalese seduction”. The attention can be overwhelming and annoying at times but then again you are a walking anomaly. Once you accept that that there is generally no ill will behind the stares (or proposals), you can just use the attention as another way to make friends in a new environment.
Women the home
Upon arrival in Senegal, I was quickly reminded that the Gender and Sexual Revolutions of the 20th century did not make it across the Atlantic. I have never been a big fan of domestic duties in general and in my real family chores were pretty equally distributed amongst my brothers and me. In Senegal, there was no such distribution. The woman is the center of the household. Without her work, very little in the house would be done. Husbands and sons occasionally have a few errands to run for the household but for the most part the home space is a resting space. Females from an early age take on main responsibility in the household. My eleven year old sister in my second homestay in Senegal cooked at least once a day for the family, swept daily, ran errands to the small neighborhood convenience stores, and took care of my 3 year old rambunctious brother- all while managing school work. Because I was still considered a visitor in my host family, I was not allowed to help my eleven year old host sister in many of her daily chores (although eventually my idle hands were put on semi-regular babysitting and cooking duty). It was really difficult for me to understand why an eleven year old student was cleaning the kitchen and yard before studying; while her brother watched television- my host mom could not understand it any other way. In Senegal, many families believe that it is important for young girls to learn the work that it takes to run a household so that they can make good future wives and mothers. So while washing dishes may not be my top priority, and I am nowhere near thinking of how to become a good wife, my eleven year old sister, on the other hand, is already acting like a mini Yaay et Jabar (mother and wife in Wolof).
Working with an NGO
For the Butler IFSA program in Peru it is mandatory to work with an NGO. The program normally sets students up with a hand-on activity working with women who do domestic work. You can also find other more internship-style opportunities on your own. I wanted to learn about indigenous rights and culture so I found an NGO myself that focused on these issue. I got really valuable experience working in their office and speaking/writing in Spanish. I also got to travel with them to one of their film festival conferences in another city, which was one of the highlights of my experience.
Being a woman in Peru
In Peru it was very common for me as a girl to hear “piropos” or cat calls on the street. Normally these are harmless but they can feel quite unsettling at first, and I liked to dress a little more conservatively than in the US to avoid uncomfortable stares. The tradition of “machismo” continues to exist, in the home and outside. The women usually are expected to cook and clean up and the men to be aggressive. As a girl I had the problem that when I tried to meet new students it was only boys who were interested to be my ‘friend’ because it is considered very cool to date or be friends with Americans. Though homophobia is a problem, I encountered an active gay scene in Lima and some of the LGBT clubs are the most popular. There is an effort to change perceptions about LGBTs in Peru.